The Sacred Sale

I held the first of my monthly Business Heart series in Portland this week. It was a wonderful success for a first event- the room was full of amazing people, and we had a great time. And raised money for hunger relief in Portland.

However, a comment I made to one of the attendees afterwards has been sticking in my craw, and I wanted to share with you the lesson I’ve learned from it.

Here’s the story: After my talk, which was on Attracting Clients, several people came up and made very glowing, appreciative comments to me, about how inspired they were, how much they learned, and how much they appreciated my presence.

I hope that you have had the opportunity to receive compliment after compliment for what you naturally do. It’s an amazing and humbling experience, and it’s overwhelming, too. I went into appreciation overload without noticing, and then the next person came up. The words were to this effect (I can’t remember exactly- I was in overwhelm!):

“I really enjoyed your talk, Mark. You were very inspiring, and you gave me a lot. I’ve spent years in business, and I had been very successful because of the heart I put into it in the beginning. But then I lost it and became burnt out. I really learned a lot this evening. Thank you!”

Did I just say thank you? Well, I did say thank you, but, in my overwhelm, a part of mind grabbed onto the “burnout” comment, and so I said: “Well, you should get the Unveiling Your Jewel CD, I think you will find it very helpful for the burnout.”

He never lost his smile. But I felt the shift in energy immediately – those subtle tell-tale signs of a conversation gone “off.” Although he later told me by email that he hadn’t noticed, the fact was that I had noticed.

What happened? So, my comment wasn’t so bad, he didn’t even notice it. What was so off about it? When I looked at it more closely, I realized that I had made the comment, not in order to give to this person in order to help them with a need, but because I was in overwhelm, and I wanted to shut down the in-flow of goodness and appreciation.

I wasn’t making a sales pitch, although that’s what it sounded like.

I was actually shutting myself down, trying to make myself safe.

A sale is sacred. A topic I’ve found myself returning to repeatedly with clients the last few weeks has been the sacredness of the moment of sale. For me, marketing is about giving, and when someone becomes a customer, it’s because they want more and they want to give back- a two-way relationship is created.

The sale is meant to quench their thirst for more… AND it’s meant to be a way for you, as the business owner or salesperson, to become humble and willing to receive. This giving and taking is a sacred moment.

Think about it. You are involved in making a real difference in the world through your business, and so your product or service is built in love and wisdom- you bring a lot of caring and devotion to what you do.

What I’ve noticed is that we feel the best about ourselves when we are in service- we are feeling useful, and we are genuinely helping in some way. It’s empowering. It’s energizing. And I believe that it’s why we’re here in the first place- to serve.

It’s true that a big part of selling is getting someone something they need. However, the OTHER big part of selling is a willingness on your part to receive from the buyer. In effect, to allow them an equal part in the relationship.

If it isn’t already painfully aware to you, as it is to me, I need income to pay my bills. A sale is a relationship between equals- you are helping them, they are helping you. The moment that the buyer and the seller allow themselves to become equals in this relationships is a sacred moment- you are both putting trust in each other.

The money someone pays you represents an engagement with their life, and a willingness to have received provision for their well-being. It takes a great deal of humility and vulnerability to let goodness in. In the same way, if you are going to let goodness in for you, it will take humility and vulnerability on your part to be aware of all that someone is giving you when they give you their money.

A few simple steps to help you stop yourself from shutting down, and keeping your sales moments sacred:

1. Get in touch with your own neediness. Maybe you need to make rent. Maybe you want to expand your business. Maybe you just want to enjoy a few of the finer things in life. Whatever it is, take some time to feel what those things represent: the quality of safety, or openness, or joy. If you feel you are lacking these, or other, qualities in your life, take some time to connect with your lack and neediness for them.

2. Use the Remembrance to create a connection in your heart (the Remembrance is described in my free workbook) and to ask to receive whatever quality you need directly from Source.

3. Before you ask someone to buy, do a quick check-in to see which of these modes you are in:

– Trying to “grab” them because you feel needy.
– Pushing them away because you are overwhelmed.
– Giving to a need of theirs because they asked for help.

If you are trying to grab, take a breath. Use the Remembrance silently, even in the middle of the conversation, to make space for your own neediness. Do NOT go for the sale here.

If you are pushing them away, again, take a breath. Use the Remembrance to ask for help in opening to receive what they are giving to you.

If you are giving to their need – go for it!

This may cut down on the number of times you try to sell someone – but you will make a much higher percentage of the sales, and feel good about them. Or, by making it easier, you may find yourself asking for the sale many more times- but at the appropriate points.

Get out there, and create sacred sales relationships.

Keys to “The Sacred Sale”

• Remember that selling is a deepening of your relationship, a relationship that is built through your marketing efforts. Marketing is about giving, and sales is about giving and receiving. You never stop giving to the prospect, and, when they feel enough trust in you and it’s right for them, they take on the two-way relationship and buy from you.

• It helps to know your own sales process. When selling, sometimes we stumble on the details- when does the class start? How much do I charge? If you know your details really well, then you can focus entirely on the relationship with the prospective buyer, and keep your heart open to them.

• You may make an offer to sell, but buying is on the customer’s time. I use the Remembrance to be as much in sync with the customer’s timing as possible. Take a moment now and feel in your heart whether you are holding back, or pushing the river. If you get a sense that you are holding back in making an offer to people, use the Remembrance to see if you can step in sooner with your sales offer.

If you feel like maybe you are pushing the river, again, use the Remembrance to bring patience into your sales process- give them some time to come forward towards you before asking someone to buy.

There is no pat answer to making a sacred sale – but your heart knows. Your heart has much of what you need to be successful- use it to connect with your prospective customers.

There seems to be a need for a class on this subject. If this is true for you, please email me any questions or reactions you have around sales.