I bet if you could listen in on the tens of thousands of conversations happening right this very second between business owners and potential clients, you’d hear this phrase a lot: “Let me think about it and get back to you.”
For the business owner, it’s a spine-chilling, hope-killing, exhausting thing to hear. For every 100 people who tell you “I’ll think about it,” how many of them really get back to you?
And yet, it’s not an unreasonable request, is it? With almost every significant purchase I’ve made, I’ve wanted some time marinate in the possibility after I’ve connected with the person in question.
Here’s the trouble: when you hear from someone “I need to think about it,” it could mean one of either two things.
The first is what is known as a “polite no.” It’s not really that polite, because it’s a little lie, but it takes a lot of courage to tell someone no. So if someone doesn’t have a sense of safety with you, or within themselves, it’s easier to tell you they need to think about it, and then quietly slink off.
To be fair, they may not even be conscious that they want to say no. They just aren’t comfortable, it’s not a yes, and they’re never going to get back to you. And if you follow-up with them they won’t return your calls. It will turn into that horrible feeling of chasing someone.
But it could also mean exactly what it says. It’s a big decision, and they need some time to think it through. They want to take some time in meditation to get clear on their own guidance. Maybe they need to talk to a partner or spouse, double-check their cashflow, or just make sure they have childcare available.
The trouble is, how can you tell when it’s really worthwhile following up, and when you’re just bothering them and feeling like a piranha yourself?
Time to ask some questions.
Sincere Questions After Hyperventilating
In treating the sales process as sacred, I’m big into asking the honest, sincere questions. If someone tells you they need to think about it, then what are the honest sincere questions on your heart?
I know one thing I always want to know. What is it that they need to think about? Is it guidance or childcare? Is it money, or time? What are the factors that they need to meditate on?
There’s one other thing I’m wondering, too. How long is it going to take? How long do they need to figure things out?
These are totally obvious questions and they are totally reasonable to ask. So ask them.
Of course, you may need to spend a few minutes hyperventilating away from the phone, and then coming back into your heart before you ask, so you don’t sound forlorn or angry, with the unspoken message, “What! You need to Think About It? Oh, just forget it… stop playing me!”
Having that kind of atittude tends to… well… the conversations don’t end so happy if that kind of emotion comes out in your question, no matter how politely you phrase the question.
This is where empathy is everything. Getting into the clients’ shoes, and having a deeper sense of your own heart connection. If you can ask those two questions from a place of sincerity and curiosity, sincerely wanting to know, then chances are they’ll tell you.
The Bridge Over Troubled Decisions
Now that you know what’s bothering them, and how long they need to think it over, this third question will build a bridge for you. It will tell you absolutely whether someone is serious and sincere, or if they are just trying to find a polite, easy way to end the conversation.
“You need three days to figure this out? Great. Let’s make a twenty minute appointment, just a quick-follow up to either let it all go, or to take the next steps. Today’s Tuesday, so three days from now- can we talk at Friday, 2:30pm?”
This appointment I call the Bridge, because rather than just a dead-end at a cliff, it brings you and your potential client over the chasm into the future. When I respectfully make a bridge appointment with someone, I almost always end up with a client.
On the other hand, if they won’t make the appointment, then just thank them kindly, and tell them to let you know in their own timing. Once you hang up, tell yourself “it’s over.” They may come back, some do. Many, however, won’t, and it’s okay to just let them go.
Voilá! You’re all set. No more strange and awkward “Uh… I’m just calling (or emailing) for the eighth time to check in. How’s it going?” Instead clarity and an agreement between the two of you that you are going to talk again about whether they are going to work with you.
Start being courageous enough to ask those three questions, and then make the Bridge, and you’ll never be left, lonely and wondering, with an uncertain “I’ll think about it,” again.
I’m curious, are there other ways you handle this same situation? Or have you encountered situations where this just doesn’t seem like it would work?
Tell me about it below in the comments.
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22 Responses
Hey Mark,
This is a fantastic post. Bridging appointments are topic I found myself expounding the virtues of with the sales dept. of a corporate client recently.
I think the magic of your approach happens in this sentence: ” just a quick-follow up to either let it all go, ”
… which completely disarms any sales hostility from the nervous prospect. Love it!
In corporate B2B sales, I find that if you’ve got enough rapport (which the above statement certainly creates) it’s actually possible to whip out a smart phone and send a calendar notification while you’re there with them!
Doing so might seem pushy, but since you’ve got their permission, I always frame it is a “in case I forget” gesture… graciously.
Getting a pop-up in their calendar improves conversions on the day. I’ve got the case studies to back that up! 😀
Awesome post. I’ll be sending this link out to the folks I work with.
Hi Peter- thanks! From you, that puts me on the moon. And it’s only a week later… 🙂
Brilliant again Mark, thank you.
I have found that if I come to the sales conversation (which I have never thought of as that, until now) as a meeting where the two of us are determining whether or not we are a good match, the energy is in the right place from the beginning.
As a psychotherapist in an earlier life, I always had an initial ‘asessment’ session, no commitment on the client’s part other than to turn up. (Now I call these my Strategy Sessions). At the end, and after doing a good deal of listening, I knew whether or not I could meet their needs. And so I said so, and outlined what would happen next, and how we would progress, which included ‘we’ll have a review after another 5 sessions and see whether you want to continue or not after that’. In the review, some people had had enough, others wanted to continue open-ended.
What you call the Bridge, I called ‘good boundaries – very important in psychotherapy. What you call the Sacred Moment I called the ‘choice point’.
It took me years to realise that this was termed a sales conversation by others! When I realised that, the idea that ‘I couldn’t sell’ flew out the window, and since then most people having a Strategy Session go on to work with me 1:1.
Thanks so much for your great content and inspiration. I pass a lot of your articles on to my own clients. I feel very blessed.
Hi Jane- Looks like you’ve got it all figured out already- that’s great. I know, so many of these pieces are just about being healthy, but until they all get put together consciously, so many people stumble.
I am impressed by what your wrote. It certainly goes along the lines of “Guerrilla marketing” by Jay Conrad Levinson. What we need to do is eliminate the “on the fence” thinkers and concentrate on “getting focused on the right people and the right thinkers.” Tough times brings tough decisions based on “reality.” We need to keep our current clients/sales. We need to expand our “customer services.” Yes, with an “s” because their is more than one way to offer service. We lack Personal involvement and caring and that is what the clients need and want. We need to appeal to their senses; see, hear, smell, and taste. This is what needs to be done.
Hi Jackie- thanks.
Love the clarity around 2 questions and then scheduling a bridge appointment. I always appreciate a template like this to relax into so thank you for this.
I also notice this is useful for prospective clients (or people who decide NOT to be clients to) – it gives THEM that sense of being held, it gives them clarity, and it gives them that powerful experience of feeling a strong “yes” OR “no” (either way being powerful) for themselves.
I’ve got several consultations booked in for this week as my ‘Turn Your Passion To Profit’ programme is now open for enrollment, so lots of opportunity to try this out.
AND one question… My early-bird price ends early April so I’ve had several people feel really enthusiastic about the programme on the consultation and then they say: “Well great, I’ll decide by 5th April”. What advice do you have on this, specifically, rather than people having consultations for 1-1 coaching that could start immediately?
As ever, in gratitude
Corrina
HI Corrina- absolutely- I’ve had people so appreciate the conversation, not buy, but stick around and buy later. And if my late reply is still useful (I was away at my Masters program all this past week), here’s what I do. I say something like, “You can absolutely take until April 5th- and for both of us, I’m wondering if we really want to leave it hanging out there that long? Unmade decisions so clog things up, I’m curious whether a clear decision can be made earlier, so we both can be complete, and if you’re joining us, I can start getting you stuff that will help you.”
Hi Mark,
Excellent topic.
I also ask if I can follow up and then set up a time. So far, that has worked with me.
Honestly, the vibe I set forth into the air makes a huge difference. I can react with a clingy silence of desperation or I can relax and say, sure, I understand. May I follow up with you?
Yes, I know the prevailing sales conversation is to FORCE them to make a yes or a no on the spot, but that feels like a hard sell to me.
I’ve been on the other end, where I wanted to think about it and also ended up taking the program.
I take the — there are lots of client-fish in the sea swimming towards me right now approach, so this is just one. There are others.
thx
Giulietta
p.s. some clients also said they’d think about it and it took a year, but did decide to put their trust in me!
Giulietta- the vibe definitely makes a difference. I know some people are easier to access a clear and open vibe when they know what to say and how the structure works, don’t you think?
Hi Mark,
What a great blog.I thought I had been doing ok but after reading this I definitly can improve.Will be putting into practice asap.Well done.
Right on, Kerol- glad you liked it.
Mark,
I am Executive Director of a small Chamber of Commerce. I would love to reprint your entry in our newsletter. Would you allow that, and how can I best serve you in crediting your remarks?
Roger
Hi Roger- so sorry for the delay- I was out of town this past week and finally catching up. We’d be delighted to have you reprint it. Just include an attribution and link if it’s online, and if it’s not online, the web address. If you want specific text, we can get you that. 🙂
What a great post! It’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you. I can’t wait to make some calls.
Ori
Woo-hoo, Ori- go for it.
I always thought “I’ll think about it” meant no. Now I realise that it means “we need more information and a bit more proof you can get results”. No I now what to say in those awkward pauses …. thanks Mark.
Hi Jen- it’s so true. And sometimes it’s not even more information and a bit more proof. Sometimes they really do need to talk it over with their spouse. 🙂
Love this guidance, Mark. Apt and simple.
The one thing I can add is that I encourage continued conversation (while maintaining boundaries, per Jane). I ask the person to email if they think of specific questions, ahas, or needs post a discussion about working together. The nitty-gritty often arises once the picture is clearer. Plus I really want to know what they’re thinking no matter what direction they take. I tell them I’ll be sure to do the same. It creates an opportunity for me to stay in dialogue, in relationship (if the connection feels right). That caring and engagement leads to many “yeses” and sometimes referrals from a person who said “no.
As an aside, sometimes the right client needs to be wooed–artfully. People want to be wanted, to be noticed.
Wow, this got me thinking about my process. Experience definitely makes it easier.
Janet- I bet you’re a total master at this. And I love your point that sometimes clients need to be wooed-artfully. I always try to let those folks know how much I would enjoy working with them and that they are wanted/appreciated.
I’m a sucker, I can get talked into anything. So what I do now is wait a couple of days and still see if I feel in the mood to buy. I love the bridge technique. Whatt is a good way to overcome “I’m going to get 2 more estimates”?
Very nice article. I learn a lot from it.