Why marketing is hated — with examples of manipulation
Once upon a time, there was very little marketing needed. If you were the village blacksmith, or healer, people came to you. If you were a farmer or craftsperson, the extent of your marketing was going to market, and literally showing up at the marketplace.
It helped to be warm and friendly. It helped to care about people. But the kind of marketing we see today just didn’t exist.
Fast forward to the early 1900s
Early psychologists, such as John Watson and Walter Scott, used their understanding of psychology in their work with advertising executives. Recommendations from them included directions like Watson’s, “…tell him [sic] something that will tie him up with fear, something that will stir up a mild rage, that will call out an affectionate or love response, or strike a deep psychological or habit need.”
Things just got worse from there, as many psychologists followed their footsteps in the 1930s, and worked at Madison Avenue advertising firms. In fact, some have called advertising “economic propaganda.”
After watching the tobacco industry use fake science to resist efforts to make public the link between smoking and cancer, and then watching the oil industry do the same thing to try to refute the overwhelming evidence that carbon is related to climate change, people like you and me who really care about the world are beyond skeptical about marketing.
The deception and pain continues today.
Add to this the painful experience some have had with salespeople, and it’s no wonder that you hate marketing, that you hate selling. The models for doing sales and marketing with integrity are not so visible.
In the industry of online business training, for instance, there is rampant manipulation. The saddest fact is that many of the techniques taught as “best practices” are being used unwittingly by people who just don’t realize how manipulative those techniques are.
I wrote some about this here: Why Selling Into a Crowd Can Feel So Gross, and here Addicted to Breakthroughs.
Examples of manipulation
In a recent discussion in the Awarepreneurs Facebook group, the question came up whether self-employed folk who turned away from marketing were showing a lack of maturity.
My response is that actually it is a maturity of heart that keeps people of integrity from doing things that just aren’t right.
Things like… getting someone on the phone and telling them you have a $10,000 program, but if they decide to purchase right then, before hanging up, they can have it for $6000. People who teach that call it “rewarding fast action.” The truth is that it’s psychologically manipulative, engaging someone’s fear of loss, and their highest hopes, without giving them time to make a rational decision- when they didn’t know that decision would be presented to them in that time frame.
Things like…advertising an expensive program as having “sold out” last time, “almost sold out” this time, when in fact the majority of the spots were given away, and very few were sold at the price advertised.
Things like… emphasizing the consequences of failure, and knowingly or unknowingly triggering a terror and trauma response. Someone in survival mode cannot make a healthy, considered decision— all they can do is try to get out of the terror, which may include clicking “buy” when it’s not really in their best interest.
Things like… intimating that someone isn’t committed to their own success, or other kinds of personal shortcomings, and that the evidence for that is not signing up for the particular program being promoted.
Things like… making promises that cannot be guaranteed, and then using fine print in the money-back-guarantee that effectively makes it impossible to get a refund.
All of these are manipulations, some border on evil, and none of them are necessary to be effective in marketing and sales.
Really! If there’s something you hated about how someone marketed to you, you can still market, and not do that. You can still show up powerfully, and avoid those kinds of manipulative strategies.
Yes, you still need to show up!
It is critical, critical!, that people of heart face the world of marketing, and find ways that really resonate with your heart.
There *are* models for marketing with integrity. There are approaches to sales conversations that aren’t manipulative, and yet still allow you to stand in a strong place.
Even people who have a lot of experience with marketing will find that when it’s something that they truly care about, when it’s close to their heart, they can still stumble, and feel a lack of confidence in marketing. I’ve had people who were top sales people in their organization in a previous career, finally feel relief at finding heart-centered marketing and sales when it came time to put their own heart-work out into the world.
Yes, you will influence people, but hopefully not manipulate them
Ultimately, you do want to take up your own space. Ultimately, your presence can influence others, the same way our hearts and sincerity can affect the folks in relationship around us.
The question is whether we’re doing this with sincerity, openness and transparency, or if we’re stuck relying on psychologically manipulative techniques that retraumatize and continue to undermine us all.
My plea:
Open your heart to marketing, while being alive to whether a technique or strategy is manipulative.
Yes, we teach this. Other people do, too. If you don’t resonate with our particular approach, find someone you trust, and get help from them!
What do you notice comes up for you in this? Are you able to embrace marketing and find the path through?
With love and affection,
Mark and the team at Heart of Business
Every act of business can be an act of love
14 Responses
“P.S. Deadline soon: Wednesday, May 31
That’s not manipulation, it’s just that our next round of Foundations1: Clients & Money starts the first Monday in June, and if you join us then we need time to get you what you need. If the timing isn’t good for you, we’ll be starting the first Monday in July as well.Remember, for the first time in three years, the price on this program will be increasing the end of June, so if this is for you, don’t delay.”
A heart tugging message about the moral hazards of psychological manipulation followed by psychological manipulation. #fail
That’s fine. Can you help suggest another way to do it? We’re in business, we offer classes, they start at a certain point. In fact, we started offering them every month, so that deadlines wouldn’t be as big an issue for folks. We held off raising our prices for three years, and they just happen to be going up in a month, so there’s no immediate urgency- people can take their time if they are even considering it.
Help me understand the manipulation you’re seeing in this?
This is why I prefer to let go of the word “manipulation” in this context (see my comment below). It is fraught with interpretation. I prefer “Is it honest and true?” Mark’s P.S. is honest and true. BTW, marketing is supposed to be something you FEEL. But feeling stimulated by honest statements, not by untruthful ones.
In response to “Not Falling For It”: Creating sign-up deadlines and then stating them honestly and transparently is not manipulation. Especially when Mark and his team have taken pains to offer the course frequently so people have plenty of opportunities to sign up. In this and numerous other examples, Mark is the gold standard in ethical business practices.
Great post Mark. Thoughtful and insightful, as always.
More examples of manipulation:
You can’t leave an offer page without buying unless you click on: No, I don’t want to build my business and be a success.
A webinar is marketing a program. It offers an individual consult if you are among the first five to sign up. You don’t know how many have signed up but you do so long before the end of the call. You email after the call to find out if you were among the first five. Turns out you are #7. I was pissed off–I should have cancelled and demanded a refund.
-d
Diana- indeed! So gross… not transparent. I don’t blame you for being upset.
Thank you for this article Mark. I have put my program on hold and am struggling trying to survive on local income because every time I think about marketing myself online I feel sick. I get so many hype emails daily from people selling programs to teach you how to market online that I can’t stand it. I unsubscribe but get back on somehow. I recently had a conversation with a woman who I initially liked who taught how to grow your email list (which I desperately need). It was VERY expensive and when I told her I was teetering on the edge financially, barely able to afford groceries, she just pushed me harder implying that if I did not do this then I was lost to ever making money. More than implied. I really appreciate your integrity and kind heart. I shared some personal struggles on a HoB community call the other day and I felt heard and seen with compassion. Lots of love to all of you at HoB.
Carolyn! I’m so sorry to hear your experience with that woman… so so painful, and deeply out of integrity. What hubris! As if her program is destined to save you? Eegads…
I’m sorry you feel so sick thinking about marketing yourself. If you’re willing, please continue to bring that feeling to the Remembrance, and to the safe space of the community. Let’s help you walk through that, to find a way, in integrity, for you to allow your work to be visible to the people who need it!
Just because some people do it badly, doesn’t mean you can’t do it well!
Thank you!
Thanks for this article, Mark. Something that helps me a bit more with this, in a practical way. I’ve jettisoned the word “manipulation,” because that requires an interpretation. Manipulations can be conscious, unconscious, innocent, and not-so innocent (manipulation is something we’re all doing all the time – to get a seat on the bus, to keep the seat next to us empty, to get the waitress to respond to us, etc.). Instead, I simply ask: Is it honest? Am I being truthful? That’s a fairly easy question to answer when I am doing marketing copy. And, I find myself falling into little dishonesties ALL the time – fueled by a combination of cultural role modeling and my own scarcity fears. It is an ongoing process…
I agree with you Leslie!
Thank you, Leslie. That is a beautiful way to understand what one is up to in any given moment. ‘Is this honest?’ I, too have seen myself being sensitive to manipulation and yet for all kinds of reasons find myself also falling into those little dishonesties and it has been mostly connected to how people respond to me. Thank you for sharing your insight here.
Mark, I can see actually both sides of how your offering could have been taken opposite to what your intent was. If someone’s heart is so tender to having been manipulated and played with for so long, it is quite easy to not get the ‘true sense’ of where you were coming from. This happens with written word unlike in speaking where we pick up on inflection, gestures and energy. And, at the same time, you were simply ‘stating’ what ‘is’ like you and the rest of the hob team do. I know from being in this community for 2 years now that all of you are so deeply rooted in integrity and this is what keeps me here! Sending your heart a hug.
Dear Mark, You are one of the most inspiring forces for good I’ve come across. Having taken Foundations 1, I can vouch for the solid foundation it gave me to run a business that I feel good about, I came from a background as a doctor and knew nothing about business, yet all the business and marketing programmes I came across felt superficial and manipulative. Finding Heart of Business was a godsend and Foundations 1 helped me to get my business going and get my first few clients. Thank you Mark and the HoB team!