I’ve noticed a subtle tendency in heart-centered business owners that can really push clients away.
A client of mine said they were going to present a big offer to one of their potential clients, and then said they were going to ask, “Does this meet your need?”
It was an offer that had been in my client’s heart for a long time, and if she successfully enrolled it with a few people, it would both fulfill a long-term dream, and provide financial stability for the next year.
Yet, there was something in the tone of my client’s voice that felt cold, a bit distant, when they asked, “Does this meet your need?”
Full stop. Let’s take a deeper look.
Vulnerability and protection
As a business owner, it can feel really vulnerable to invite someone to work with you. Double or triple that feeling if it’s a significant commitment, like an extended training. And double it again if the offer is something very deep in your heart, the first time you offer it.
That’s a lot of vulnerability.
One of the ways we protect ourselves in these situations is through what I call “distancing language.” It’s the kind of language typically used in corporate settings, where emotional authenticity and presence isn’t often valued, and can actually be a negative.
A question like, “Does this meet your need?” seems fine on the face of it. Concise. Clear. But there’s no inherent warmth in the language. Then, if someone is in even subtle protection mode, the words can come out feeling cold.
The potential client will feel that distance, and start to ask themselves, “Maybe this doesn’t really meet my need? Maybe I don’t really need this.”
The attempt to protect oneself actually just made one’s business less safe. Oops.
Desire is attractive. Warmth is comforting.
You know, it’s a funny thing. Even if you would LUURRVVVE to have more clients, potential clients can often feel shy, and be wondering if you even want them. What? What? Of course I want you as a client!
One of my most-often repeated teachings is this: 90%+ of marketing and sales problems can be solved with honesty.
If you’re honest about wanting someone as a client, that feels great to their heart! And if it’s expressed honestly, it’s not pressure, it’s love.
I recently said to a potential client who was considering Heart of Business for coaching, “You know, obviously what I want is for you to make the choice that is right for you. And just honestly, I hope you decide to work with us, because I think we’d have a lot of fun together.”
No pressure, but it can feel so good to hear that you’re wanted.
I told my client, if instead of saying “Does this meet your need?” she spent time thinking of what she enjoyed about tthis person and how much she would love to help them, and then expressed that honestly. “I so enjoy you, and I’d love for us to work together in-depth. I think it would be really great! And, obviously, make the choice that is right for you.”
How much more inviting does that feel?
Your turn.
Bring some warmth to your invitations. Take a risk emotionally and let yourself express your heart to them. Let them know that yes, they are wanted.
What does this bring up for you? How does it feel in your heart?
With love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
P.S. Money issues can make inviting people in HARD.
When you’re struggling to make your business work, or are really tangled up around money, it can be hard to access that emotionally honest and vulnerable place. Invitations come out feeling “sticky” because of fears/attachments around money.
If this is true for you, then your business will be SO much easier to run if you had a healthier relationship with money. Inviting people in, asking to get paid, and so many other parts of business become lighter and more straight-forward without money tangles.
Starting in January, join us for the Heart of Money Transformational Journey. It’s profound. It has an 18 year proven track record with literally thousands of past participants. And it’s priced at pay from the heart.
And yes, I’d love to have you there, if it’s the right choice for you.
It starts in January, with a bonus healing call December 19 if you register early.
9 Responses
Thank you Mark!
The tiniest shifts in language can make soooo much difference in how it FEELS to readers – and that makes all the difference in whether or not they happily sign up.
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I love this article and relate to the honesty. Our business works hard at ensuring honestly in all aspects and that includes interactions with potential clients. The old adage is true, “Honesty is the best policy”.
Great Article, Great work
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