This particular stuckness in business comes up over and over, and it’s a fairly simple one, and also easy to forget.
It comes up primarily when one of our clients is involved writing a sales page, or creating content, or writing a promotional email… something that makes their business or offer visible.
I can usually guess just just from the way they are talking about whatever is they are trying to write, that they have this image in their mind.
This image:
(Description: Cute scary monster, one eye, huge mouth.)
Now, the identity of the person may change. but in general, the person in their imaginings has a few characteristics:
- They are skeptical or downright hostile.
- They don’t want to be bothered.
- They aren’t actually the kind of person that our client usually would serve.
In other words, someone that our client shouldn’t be speaking to anyway!
Beloved, I want to give you full permission and affirmation and support in not speaking to people that you don’t want to be speaking to. That you don’t have to speak to them in real life, and you don’t have to imagine speaking to them when you’re creating content.
They don’t need to be in your awareness at all.
Yes, I know they might creep in, because, hey, we’ve all had experiences that mess with our sovereignty and wholeness of heart.
Yet, be aware. If you are stuck trying to express yourself, instead of continuing to struggle, stop and notice, who are you imagining you’re speaking to?
If it’s that monster up there, or whomever your equivalent is, then just thank them, excuse yourself, and instead see someone who already knows and trusts you, who already is interested, and who is facing something that you really can help with, and they want help.
Now, write to them. Speak to them. Give your heart to them.
Doesn’t that work much better?
What happens for you when you do this?
With love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
3 Responses
This has stopped me niching several times… I would have beautiful copy, but waaaay too much, in a secret mission to ‘turn off’ the people I don’t want to work with, anyways.
So today, I acted like I had an auditorium full of people who might mistake themselves for my niche, and I just called out sub-sets of people I DON’T want (with straightforward descriptions, because they were just imaginary people there to help me get clear) and the whole sub-set, one at a time, raised their hands, turning out to have been seated in groups, anyways! I thanked them, as you suggested.
Instead of excusing myself, though, I kindly but firmly waded through the crowd of kind faces and went to the mean or stuck-up or critical sub-sets and thanked them for raising their hands in such honesty, for being who they are right now because I’m sure it’s serving to keep them safe, but that it’s not going to work out. I referred each group to something more up their alley.
Then I noticed there were subsets of the audience I was *afraid to serve* but not afraid *of*. What if the work we do makes them want to leave their marriage? What if it brings them unwanted attention? What if they suffer somehow from a hacker hacking my list? I asked the ‘victims’ to tell me why they were still interested in being my niche, and they told me how well they take care of themselves. They’re so clearly amazing. They suggested some services, and they thanked me for certain things I do that drive other people up the wall. My being the way I am makes them safe.
It was so healing, Mark. Thank you for the article. I can’t believe the comments aren’t full of more stories — I guess this post inspired a lot of your serious clients to get writing… on our own websites. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
Yes, It makes no sense. if even we climb Mt.Everest, people will still raise their voice and try to pull us down. I never ever take care of what others think. What we think about our self is more important
It might sound odd but one of the ways I overcame not being able to talk to people was becoming a journalist. (Which is a job where you have to go talk to people.) As I became more comfortable with journalism I found I grew more comfortable in talking with people in general, and now it comes easy. It’s helped when I was selling local ads for my podcast – I had no problem making the approach and closed several. It might seem obvious, but the more you do something scary the easier it becomes!