My cat’s answer to how to keep from making mistakes

Updated 4/21/22

At 4 a.m. our cat, Rafi, comes mewing and yowling into our room, waking up both Holly and me. I yell and hiss at him, and then realize I’m not getting back to sleep. Holly tells me, “Don’t you let him out!”

It’s my fault, because I have let him out when I get up. I didn’t this morning, but I know he loves going out in the morning. The trouble is, that our new house doesn’t have a cat door to the outside, whereas our house in Portland, Oregon did.

I don’t really want to be up at 4am, Rafi doesn’t really want to be inside. The obvious solution is to have a cat door put in, except that now we live in the country. Are critters going to make their way in? Will he be bringing inside the half-eaten mice he’s been leaving outside our front door lately?

And what the heck does this all have to do with business?

I remember one of our Learning Community members asking me in a coaching call, something to the effect of “How do I keep from making a mistake?”

Here’s the answer: you don’t. You don’t keep yourself from making mistakes. You don’t keep yourself from making messes.

It’s such common advice in some circles, it’s hard to let the reality of this sink in. No matter how much you study and strategize, no matter how much you pray and meditate, no matter how much you access guidance, you will make choices and take steps that don’t work out the way you want them to.

You think you’re doing the cat a favor, and you end up getting woken up at 4 a.m. You think you’re caring for yourself by taking time off, but then your program doesn’t get enough marketing and doesn’t fill. Or you don’t take the time off and work too hard, and then your marketing feels frantic and your program doesn’t fill.

You can’t predict. You don’t know. I don’t know. No one knows.

Then what do you do?

I read that the actor Matt Damon once tried to make small talk with music legend Prince, “You still live in Minnesota?” The Purple Legend answered him, “I live in my own heart, Matt Damon.”

(Side note: I’ve never heard of an ordinary moment with Prince. He left us too soon.)

When you’re struggling, it’s easy to imagine success to require a series of perfect choices that lead to perfect outcomes. However, the reality is that when you start to succeed, however you define that, it’s really a series of imperfect choices leading to imperfect outcomes, with bumps and stumbles and failures along the way.

However, if your heart is awake, and if you are paying attention, the general trend can go in the direction you want to go.

I’m guessing we’re going to put in a cat door for Rafi. I’m guessing he’s going to still wake us up sometimes, and sometimes we’ll find dead mice inside the house. However, we’re going to get a dog, too, and I’m guessing between the cat and the dog, no critters will be coming in.

We’ve had hugely successful years at Heart of Business, and we’ve had lean years. The general trend, however, has been in the direction I’ve wanted it to go.

No False Teachers

Here’s a secret I was told by my one of my Sufi teachers. He said, “For the sincere student, there are no false teachers.” When you live in your own heart, you can witness the presence of the Divine in any moment. I don’t mean an intellectual glossing over of pain with “Well, it must all be perfect.”

I mean the courage to open your heart in the face of pain (and in the face of joy) and to really be with it. In the intimacy of messy truth, to then notice that you are here, that the path is under your feet, and that you are still walking, generally, in the direction you want to go.

I recommend three things.
(1) Learning about the path you are walking. If you’re on a path of business, for the Divine’s sake, learn about business! I moved to New York, and I’m doing all I can to learn about permaculture and plants in this area – I’m not picking what to plant totally by intuition, I’m learning from people who know and *then* applying my intuition.

(2) Spiritual practice. Which means to spend time in your own heart. The world is distracting, it’s easy to avoid your heart. Spending time in your heart means life has a sweeter taste, and you find all of the things you truly need, like compassion and love (for yourself, especially) and strength and wisdom (for the path you’re walking) and the miracles you truly need.

(3) Joy and hope. There is so much we’re engaged in that drains our hope and joy. Necessary things, like politics and family and yes, the cat at 4 a.m. Also choose to engage with things that bring you joy and fill you with hope.

As I write this the sun is filtering through the mist over the hills of central upstate New York and Rafi is asleep at my feet (no, I didn’t let him out yet). I can just start to distinguish the green from the gray. It’s August and summer will be ending soon. But it’s not over yet. And after summer, comes the deliciousness of autumn.

p.s. Living in Your Own Heart

Come live in your own heart, within your business.

Next Friday, April 30th, I’m leading a Virtual Retreat, as I’ve done 6 times a year since 2005. Every time, we’re all stunned by the beauty and depth that is possible.

Nearly all of them have been within our Learning Community. However, this is one of the very few that is available to anyone who wants to register. I really encourage you to drink it in.

Come take a look.

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