First off, happy holidays everyone. We’re in the thick of it, having enjoyed Hanukah, Solstice, Christmas, and Kwanzaa, and Ramadan is just a distant memory back in the fall.
And New Year’s coming up! Enjoy yourselves, but stay under cover at midnight. At least, that’s what they told us when I was a paramedic (‘cuz folks would shoot their guns off straight up in the air, perhaps not realizing that gravity would bring the bullets back down again…)
Ahhh… the good old days. Anyway, on with the newsletter.
Themes are in the air (da da da da da da dum…). When I was on the ambulance, it seemed that most days had some sort of a theme- you know, it would be all leg injuries, or maybe all strokes. Strange, but true.
Similarly, I’ve noticed themes in my clients and class participants, and, of course, myself. This year, the end of year theme is “confusion.” What to do. How to do it. When to do it. If to do it.
It’s not unexpected- with one year drawing to a close, and 2005 spread out like a brand new tapestry in front of us, we can be full of possibility and hope, but also lack clarity in direction. It could be as big as your business vision for 2005, or as simple as which of the five competing holiday parties you want to go to.
This lack of clarity usually leads to New Year’s Resolution Syndrome. That’s when you pick something you don’t like about yourself, and vow to fix it. Ouch. Please don’t do that.
Instead, I want to talk about the root of the issue- which is the confusion over a clear path forward. Someone recently described it this way: “I just can’t decide. I make one decision, and then it doesn’t feel right. Then I make another decision, and it doesn’t feel right either. I feel paralyzed.”
Sound familiar? I can get caught there, too. Of course, the normal attempts at solving include:
– Flipping a coin.
– Collapsing into immobility.
– Anger and rage.
– Asking the Magic 8 Ball (“Ask again later.”)
If you know me at all, you know I’ve got all kinds of fancy spiritual teachings to deal with these kinds of situations, but for this one, it’s suprisingly simple:
Ask One Question At A Time.
Confusion arises most commonly when we unconsciously bundle questions together. The person I quoted above had three questions tangled together in a granny knot. The questions, which concerned a networking event, were:
“How do I talk about my business?”
“If I don’t like one of the main people there, how do I handle myself?”
“Do I even want to go?”
These were all tangled together into “What do I do?” It’s easy to see that a muddy question will give you unclear answers.
If you are caught with a question, write it down. And then, use the Remembrance (described in the free workbook I gave you for subscribing: Getting to the Core of Your Business. If you need it, links are at the end) to help sort out all of the questions that are tangled in together.
Keys to “‘Tis the season of confusion”
• Separating out the questions creates clarity, and sometimes that clarity is being clear on where the real muddiness is. With the person above, the place where he had the most difficulty was with “How do I talk about my business?” The others were easier to answer once they were separated out, and then we could get really clear on this question.
• Don’t push the river. If being in indecision isn’t a normal pattern for you, then it might be time to take a rest and relax where you are. As one of my class participants described: “When you are on the brink, there’s a great view- like the Grand Canyon. It’s just important to look at the view and not at the parking lot.” Spend some time being where you are and don’t rush the decision if it’s not coming.
• If you do have a pattern of indecision, be gentle with yourself. Look for the unasked question. There is something as-yet-unidentified which you need before you can take the next step. Instead of trying to make a decision, see if there are unseen preliminary, maybe “baby steps,” prior to the decision you are facing.
Enjoy!
I wish the absolute best for you, your family and your business going into 2005.
