This past Thursday on the Learning Community coaching call, a member asked about prioritizing and too many projects. In my response, my wife Holly thought I had been too fierce on the call. She was worried that newer members might not know that I’m rarely like that, that I’m 95% of the time more gentle.
I hope it didn’t land as uncaring, or too strong with folks! I want to be gentle a lot of the time, because pushing rarely is helpful. People don’t need gentleness exclusively, but they need it far more often, because the world can be harsh, and one’s own internal voices can also be really judgemental.
In this case, because I knew the member pretty well, and we had worked together 1-1, I did get fierce in defense of her health and well-being. I get fierce about the “doing too much” topic, because I deeply care for each of you. I’ve had too many clients with chronic fatigue, and other chronic illness, and on occasion someone has become really very, dangerously ill.
Capitalism, systemic racism, patriarchy, homophobia and transphobia, do a number on ALL of us. The stress, the push to do more and to be productive all the time, is truly deadly.
On top of that, when we see people in need, who are hurting, and we want to help them, especially people from communities we may know intimately – of COURSE we want to do more.
Let me say first that I believe that we do have a duty to help each other, that mutual aid is not optional, we need to care for one another.
And, let me say also that we cannot undo or otherwise fully remedy systemic injustice with individual action. To attempt to do so is deadly.
Let’s care for each other, and let’s care for ourselves, and let’s do the grief work that is needed to set aside projects that are important and worthy of care, that are really needed, that we just don’t have the capacity to do without harming ourselves.
Don’t let these soul-less systems take our vitality, our health or our joy.
Developing a business takes focus, takes time. You can do it in small steps, most people have to because life is full. But it does need some time.
It’s why I work with our Stages of Development model, and why our Learning Community modules within each stage are designed to help focus on the one (or three) next things that your business needs. Slow down, focus, move forward.
I want to say that you will get there! So many before you have been successful, I have confidence you can be, too!
And, I want you healthy enough to enjoy the journey. We need you, your gifts, your heart, your presence, healthy and vital, for this journey we’re all on together.
with love and gentleness and fierce care,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
