This is not a sweeping answer to why marketing is so hard that covers every possible reason you might find it challenging, but it is a foundational reason that adds a lot of friction.
Marketing is hard because many people think it’s about telling others that you’re great, and that they should give you money.
If you have a heart, and care about people, of course you don’t want to do that, and of course it’s nearly impossible to figure out a graceful way to say that. If that’s the message, then good luck finding an option that sounds graceful and caring.
Here’s the “trick” that makes it easier: don’t do that. Drop that message completely. Don’t try to toot your horn and talk about how great you are, and don’t have it in your mind that you’re supposed to convince people to give you money.
You probably already know that, at least in theory. But to let it drench your heart, and seep into your bones, this idea that you don’t have to boast, and you don’t have to convince.
I’m serious. Take a moment now, if you’re willing, take a breath, and just let all that crap go.
Huuuuuuuuuuu….
Now, what do you replace that terrible stuff with, now that it’s gone? (Or, gone temporarily. You may have to evict it a few times before you really settle into a different reality.)
Instead of promoting yourself, you are promoting the efficacy of your work. You are letting people know that help is available for what they are struggling with. You are letting folks know they don’t have to do it alone. That they don’t have to allow something that is troubling them to linger, that you can help them with it.
Instead of “I’m great, give me money.” You say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting, can I help?”
Because they are adults, they know your services cost money. They don’t resent you for making a living. They want you to succeed also, because humans are like that. We’re community-minded creatures, and most of us, the 99% of us that aren’t psychopaths or narcissists, we want all of us to succeed.
“I’m sorry your body is hurting, can I help?” “I’m sorry your business is struggling, can I help?”
“I’m sorry you’re struggling in your relationship, can I help?”
Of course, your messages get a little more complex than that. But, truthfully, this is the essence.
Replacing, “I’m great, give me a money,” with “I’m sorry you’re struggling, can I help?”
Once again, this is also something you probably already know, at least in theory, but you probably haven’t truly embraced it, immersed in it, let is be the fragrance of your heart when you go to do marketing.
Take another moment, allow yourself to stop, and breathe, and let it fill your heart, and strengthen your spine.
Let me know how this lands, and if you have any questions or pushback.
with love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
P.S. Less than a week until Marketing to Strangers
I know you already get that you have to market your business to strangers, that it needs to be visible to folks who don’t yet know you.
You’ve probably already had ideas of how to do that (or not…?), but have you been able to follow through consistently enough to get results? Is it what you’re doing, or is it how you’re doing it? Too much? Not enough?
I’m sorry you’re struggling with marketing to strangers, it’s not easy, and so many people also struggle with it. Can I help?
The first live call is Tuesday, October 13, coming up! Pay from the heart pricing, nourishing pre-work available now.
Practical, implementable, healing.
Take a look, jump in. Let’s have fun with this. If you have questions please ask.
