Introduction: This is a guest post by Leesa Barnes of success refresh. I asked her to share the journey of how she brought her connection to the Divine into her business. You can find her at http://www.leesabarnes.com
I crave patterns.
No, not sewing patterns (although I do love to sew), but step-by-step formulas that follow a predictable path.
I love math. Yup, I said it. I’m a numbers-holic. I also have a unique ability to learn new languages fast – even at THIS age of…well, a lady never tells her age. I majored in history in university and then found my way into the exciting world of technology.
A wonderful coach helped me see why I was interested in such an electic mix of subjects. While others were mystified how a degree in history would prepare me for a career in technology, this coach said in a rather elegant way that…
“Leesa, you’re attracted to patterns.”
The Comfort & Safety of Patterns
When I started my business in 2006, I kind of had no idea what I was doing. So, I looked for patterns of success. If someone looked successful, I registered for their course to digest their pattern. I was eager to learn how to move people from “I’m interested” to “I’m sold” using a tried-and-true, step-by-step method.
I learned from some of the best soothsayers in the market. I learned how to use words on my sales pages and in my ezines to present a perception of my own success. I enchanted using the right colours, the right pictures and the right language to captivate attention in a magical way.
I remember trying to fill a 3-day workshop back in 2008. The title I used on the webpage was…
“Give Me 3-Days & I’ll Teach You How to Earn an Extra Four, Five or Six Figures Each Month Working Just 4-Hours a Day”
The title didn’t fit my reality. I was working 16-hours a day and although I was generating four, five, or six-figures – it was sporadically and definitely not monthly.
My mentor at the time scoffed at my concern and said:
“How do you think I built my empire?”
Why the Pattern Was Failing Me
I was struck by a passage in Os Hillman’s book, Today God Is First: Daily Workplace Inspiration, where he said…
“When you market, a product or service based on a perception – and not reality – you’re practicing witchcraft.”
In the Christian tradition, witchcraft refers to creating harmful illusions based on ego. It’s a view that your works are more powerful than God – the Divine. It’s based on selfishness because the works performed are meant to bring attention to you, but not to help or bless others.
On my sales pages, I was using the pattern to create an illusion. I had surrounded myself with others who thought it was okay to bedazzle and enchant using the pattern. Case in point – back in 2010, a colleague had filed for bankruptcy, but did not see anything wrong with continuing to call themselves the “millionaire success coach” on their sale pages because the pattern taught them to use pictures and words to create a perception of success.
In the words of my tradition, I was practicing witchcraft, and I didn’t know it.
But, more importantly (and don’t miss this), I put faith in my own God-like status and worshipped the pattern, the blueprint, the step-by-step system as the very thing that would bring me wealth, power, and recognition. I’ve come to realize that when we put our trust in the created instead of the Creator, we do things that compromise our values, our beliefs, and ultimately, our faith.
Fixing My Relationship With God Fixed My Relationship With My Clients
Fast forward to 2011. I served less people, but made the most money in my business than I ever had. Did you hear me? I had the best year financially because I worked with less people. For the first time in my business, clients invested in one, or more programs.
I knew when my clients were getting married. I knew who was going to have a baby. My clients shared EVERYTHING with me and lovingly told me when I was doing well and when I slipped up. My clients had become my family members and I enjoyed their company, their wisdom, their interaction. A renewed sense of love and devotion washed over me for my clients and for their ultimate success.
This turnaround in my business happened because I did one thing – I broke up with my idol, the pattern.
Now, don’t misinterpret what I’m saying here. I still attend workshops. I still invest in educational and training programs. I still love math, technology, languages and history – anything with a predictable pattern.
The difference between then and now is that the pattern is no longer my God. This realization didn’t happen overnight. It took 90 days. I closed my laptop in late 2,010 and went on a spiritual journey to reconnect with the Source. I wish I could say I went to Israel or India and wandered in the wilderness, rent my clothes and covered myself with ashes. That would make for a good story, but it wasn’t anything like that.
Instead, I consulted with God for many hours each day in my familiar surroundings. Whether I was in the quiet of my bedroom or communing with nature in the great snowy outdoors (it was during the winter months when this happened), I wrote notes in a journal and refreshed my soul with the Creator’s promises from the Bible.
In that time, God reminded me that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. That He knew who I was before I was born. That He gave me my giftings so I can bless others. He reminded me that the reason I’m on this planet is to help others on their path to success – and not to pad my ego. When I reopened my business in early 2011, I had transformed my faith, my business, and the words I used so that God would be pleased with the output.
So, what exactly did I do? Here are the 3 ways I transformed my business with action tips on how you can go beyond the pattern…
Transformation #1 – Patterns Create Transactions, Connections Create Loyalty
Prior to 2011, clients would enter my tribe, invest in a product, stay on my list a little while, then unsubscribe. A few weeks later, their faces and words would appear as testimonials on other people’s websites.
At first, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get testimonials from them. But, once my own transformation happened in 2011, I now understood that by offering discounts, fire sales, and hard deadlines, I had built my business on transactions, instead of connections.
In his book, Start With Why, Simon Sinek calls these methods manipulation. Manipulation leads to a transaction-based business. A business can never grow or be sustained on a transactional based model. Instead, Simon calls us to focus on building relationships that will inspire our clients to take action and build loyalty with our brand.
After my 90-day spiritual quest, I put together a plan to build my business based on connections. As a result, I started to see the fruits emerge in terms of loyalty. Clients were sending me testimonials without my having to ask. Clients sent referrals without needing affiliate links. Clients understood that they were investing in their success using me as their guide. Refund rates went down dramatically, so much so that when we had our sole refund request in 2011 (someone who slipped through the cracks and didn’t have a conversation with me), my team had to scramble to find our outdated policy hidden in the annals of our operation and standards guide.
The biggest show of loyalty was how often clients were investing in additional programs. Clients were not only investing in 1 product, but 2 or more. I had to remodel my business systems to support multiple investments made by the same person. For example, each digital learning product had its own website. If someone invested in a learning program, they logged into one site. However, because clients were now investing in 2, 3 or more programs, it became confusing for them to login to 2, 3, or more websites with 2 or 3 different usernames and passwords (and equally confusing for my support team).
So, we consolidated all our digital learning products into an online academy. Now, clients use one login to access every program they ever invested in. One login, one website and this makes my support team very happy.
Your action = Transform your business so you rely more on building connections than on spurring on tranactions.
Transformation #2 – Listen More, Talk Less
I built so many boundaries around my time because I found that people were draining my energy. But, the issue wasn’t them, it was me. Whenever I spoke to people, I instantly jumped in to solve their problem. Then they’d walk away, satisfied and I’d retreat to my bed completely drained, angry and frustrated that I just spent an hour with someone that I could never get back.
In my training programs, again, I’d do most of the talking. I’d yap and yap and yap and yap, then take a week just to recover. My students would then provide feedback saying “I felt Leesa was holding back,” or “Leesa didn’t give enough value.” Plus, they wanted me to throw in more bonuses and freebies because they felt they didn’t get enough. I was incensed.
The Bible states that the wise close their mouth and listen. Listening is such an underrated skill, and more leaders need to do this in order to truly be a blessing to others.
I now have conversations with people where I ask thoughtful, loving questions. I enjoy connecting (it’s one of my core values) and I’m an equally curious person. Everyone’s experiences are unique and I’m fascinated by the stories people tell. My training programs have also changed drastically. Instead of being the Sage on the Stage, I’m now the Guide on Side. Students do pre-work, then come to the live session where I break them into small groups and let them help each other. My focus now is on transforming students instead of showcasing my expertise.
Your action = Do less free-for-all teleclasses and instead, open your calendar and invite people to schedule some time to talk. Ask the right questions. Listen closely. Then move them into the program that you feel can help. Sometimes, this may be a “competitor’s” program. That’s okay, because if you’re leading by connections – and not transactions – your goal is to help the person find the right fit.
Transformation #3 – Add to Your Tribe Only Those Who Will Be Compatible with Others Already In It
Once I de-elevated myself from my God-like, self-absorbed, ego-filled position and put God there instead, I realized that I could not solve everyone’s problems. Only God can do that. So, I stopped working with everyone who could fog a mirror and instead selected people who would match up nicely with those who were already in my tribe.
Yes, I looked for people who were in the right place at the right time and who had the right problem I could solve. But, I also knew that I had to be of service to those who already committed their time and energy to my brand and my style of leadership. I needed to honour the connections that had already formed by adding those who could enhance the group – not tear it down.
Your action = Instead of listing your values, identify the characteristics of the tribe that has already gathered around your leadership style. Ensure that future clients that are added to your tribe have these characteristics as well.
Final Thoughts
Putting my trust in the Creator instead of the created renewed my faith. Fixing my relationship with God helped me to fix my relationship with my clients. Although patterns still show up in my life and business, I now give myself permission to adjust the pattern based on my values and my client’s needs. Moving beyond the pattern changed my business from one based on transactions to one based on connections.
About the Author
Leesa Barnes is an award winning motivational teacher who helps faith-centered messengers become financially and spiritually successful. After operating a successful consulting business, an online global association and authoring countless training programs and books, Leesa teaches you how to use the right words and the right online tools to share your divinely inspired message so you attract the right clients. To learn how to add a more authentic, raw, and naked faith to your business, visit http://leesabarnes.com.
26 Responses
Oftentimes people only concentrate on finding the right person, instead of becoming the right person in the process.
Such a powerful statement. Yes, I was putting my faith in other people’s patterns and other people’s successes instead of putting my faith in God. By reconnecting with God, I recognized that I’m unique and I needed to focus on becoming whole. That’s what this entire article is all about – the awareness that I can be me and embrace other people’s patterns without placing it above my faith in God.
Leesa, I absolutely loved reading this from you! I’m so grateful to have met you when some of this transformation was taking place. I admit that the words God and Faith aren’t in my vocabulary very often, but the way you described ego and patterns really resonated with me.
Thank you so much for sharing so transparently, and for being the faith-filled leader that you are.
Ha! Being a tech diva, Nathalie, I’m not surprised that the issue of patterns really resonated with you. What many miss – and what you picked up Nathalie – is the ego part. It’s huge! And so many businesses that were built on egos and perception are slowly crumbling. Consumers are no longer happy about being treated as simply a transaction and businesses that treat their clients as a person are the ones that’ll be successful.
I’ve learned that when one is transparent, the tribe emerges. I can hide all the raw emotions that are wrapped into a transition or, I can be vulnerable and share these raw emotions with the world.
John the Baptist made a statement that has intrigued me for years, “He must increase and I must decrease”. I have always thought this is hard, harsh & negative. Today you have so elegantly given me a clearer perspective of the life principle John was trying to teach when he said those words. I have “evernoted” this post to further digest & incorporate the action steps in my business plan. Thank you Leesa.
What a wonderful way of looking at John 3:30, Raye. I, like John, have come to recognize that in order for my clients to be their best, I need to decrease my need for ego, recognition and power. Building my faith has helped me see that my worth is not tied up in how much money I make. It is, instead, tied up in what God has in store for me. Raye, I look forward to seeing how your faith grows as a result of digesting the words in this post in greater detail. Do keep me in the loop.
Oh Leesa I love this so so much! This is a wonderful truth-telling amazingly important post – I am so so happy you wrote it.
Ah Jennifer, revealing the truth in such an open forum has left me feeling vulnerable, raw and open. I shared with Mark that I was nervous about how others would treat my truth telling. After receiving his loving words of support, I recognized that revealing my journey has more to do with releasing the junk in my vessel so God can fill it back up with His abundance. This entire process has been completely freeing for me and I embrace for the support you’ve shown to me.
AWESOME post Leesa. I too have had to slowly peel my attention away from the seductive blueprints and formulas. Truth is, they really weren’t working that well for me. Like you, they lead to 10-14 hour days making lots less than the promised 7 figure income.
My process has involved going MUCH deeper. And then deeper than that. And today I tell my clients with a very strong sense of alignment “I don’t do cookie cutters.” And they love it! 🙂
I celebrate your raw, open and vulnerable truth telling Leesa. Because the simple formulas often don’t work well for spiritual entrepreneurs. We’re wired for depth and authenticity and truth telling …
Woe! Just got an a-ha moment from your comment, Paul, when you said:
“The simple formulas often don
Such a fantastic conversation. Last night I gave a live-video presentation to a group in Toronto, and I had a feeling I needed to ditch my prepared presentation and just go Sufi Q&A on them. I told them that, they were happy, and we had some very deep questions and profound healing moments that I think we all could feel.
Structures and systems are important- without our skeleton our body would be a jelly-like pile on the floor. (Sorry for the image… 🙂 – and yet, what animates us, what moves us, what drives us to be alive, that Divine Presence, is what is truly important.
Mark, your analogy of the skeleton is just perfect! And this is bringing up something else for me. There are many passages in the Bible that speak about dry bones. I’ve heard so many interpretations of what the dry bones mean, but here’s yet another application based on your analogy. I have to flesh this out some more (whoops, I can see I’m stuck on this train of thought using the word “flesh”), but if what motivates and animates us is the Divine Presence, then this is truly what gives those dry bones life. Mark, thank you for awakening yet another study moment for me 🙂
@Leesa- always glad to increase the focus on sacred text learning. 🙂
Lisa,
I could visit with you all day about this conversation. It’s that juicy for me. And I have a hunch that you have TONS to say on this. At the moment, I’m packing up for the Wisdom 2.0 Business Conference that starts tomorrow. Where HUNDREDS of entrepreneurs who are interested in this “norm” will be.
That said, I’d love to have a phone or skype chat with you when I get back. You’re direction and your brand have gotten MUCH more aligned to what I’m passionate about than what they used to be. I’d enjoy the opportunity to connect and find out more ..
PS: Mark you rock! You’ve been holding the container for conversations like for years now. Thank you, thank you, thank you …
With much appreciation,
Paul
God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.
Thank you Leesa for your honesty. I wrote and held a one hour session a while back for a local health club. Gave it a fancy name, tried to follow the ‘rules’ for such things. irst time of offering this as a self-employed coach… Felt I had to do it in a fancier way than I had before because now I’m doing it for myself…I didn’t charge much, but I did charge something. After hours of preparation I knew I’d written too much material, at least three hours worth. I decided to go ahead anyway – and congratulated myself at the end for having got through all the material. As iof that were the reason for the session…!The evaluations, mostly, were awful. Too rushed, no time to share, no time to understand one idea before I rushed on to the next…I cried. And refunded their money. And i learned a hard lesson; that doing this as a business means I need to care more about each individual in the room, not less. That I need to listen to my voice telling me I’ve made a mistake before I go on to make even more. I’m now spending time listening intently to each individual I connect with, and learning. Maybe I will run groups again – I hope so; but not until it is more – much more – about the people who come than it is about me.
Oh Sally, such a heart wrenching story, but a valuable learning experience, right? And don’t discount group coaching/training just yet. I’ve found that through my personal conversations with folks, some can’t invest in my one-to-one coaching program. If that’s the case, I ask if I could put them on a waiting list for the group version of the program. Once I get enough on the waiting list, I then make personal phone calls or send personal emails asking them to sign up.
I always get an amazing response to my group programs because I’m speaking to people to already had a conversation with me, are more than willing to invest, but need an option that’s more budget-friendly. It’s a reverse on the funnel model. Instead of starting someone off with a free download, then moving them up to a $10 book, then up to a $97 teleclass, the freebie is a conversation with you, you offer them a $3000 private coaching day with you, then “downsell” to a $500 group coaching program. This strategy has worked nicely in my biz over the past 12-months. I get to meet people, discover their needs, then move them into the program that can meet their need.
In fact, the funnel and reverse funnel can work in tandem to create an hourglass, a concept nicely shared by John Jantsch. He presents a gorgeous graphic outlining the marketing hourglass concept which I believe helps us who are more spiritual, heart-centered and faith-led build connections and go from cash stuck to cash flow – http://tinyurl.com/26grw53
Thank you, Leesa, I will take a look.
Your message took me to a place I resonate with and that is, spiritual truth. I’m so happy for your peace.
Gotta say I love this: “Moving beyond the pattern changed my business from one based on transactions to one based on connections.” ~ I, exhale 🙂
Thank you for such a captivating and profound message.
I know that both you and I, Regina, have been on a similar path, only yours started a few months before mine. It’s just so freeing to finally be able to share the truth about what was going on behind the scenes and the “stories” we tell ourselves and others in order to appear more credible. I was simply quite exhausted by what I was taught to do. I’m now resting in the assurances of what God has designed me to do.
Thanks so much for sharing this Leesa. My brother uses a line in one of his songs that says everybody wants to BE but nobody wants to BECOME. We see a lot of this when we try to mimic other people’s path instead of listening and looking for our own path. I think there is value in seeing what has worked for other people, but we have to keep in mind that their path and calling was for them and their faith and that our road may be different.
Tai- I love what your brother’s lyric- can you link to his music? I’d love to hear that. And thank you for being a sister on the path, you and Leesa both.
Like Mark, I love music (he plays the guitar, I, the piano). I, too, would love to take a listen to your brother’s song, so please do share a link.
Leesa,
This article is awesome and resonated powerfully. It’s interesting, I’ve been feeling this but could not put this way of ‘being’ with clients into words or behaviour. I love your and Mark’s work, and agree that although systems and structures are important, having a deep connection with clients is even mor
The economy is going through a reset and it has trickled down to small businesses, consultants and solopreneurs. We’re being called to be more like Mary, who focused on relationships, rather than Martha, who focused on tasks and transactions. When the visitor comes to our brand, as Jesus did when he visited the sisters in their home, we’re called to connect rather than just serve.
Thanks Leesa for writing this. You’re perspective and insight gives me more permission to do what I love to do most and that is to genuinely care for and help my students and those I coach.