The tension in this holiday

This is the week of U.S. Thanksgiving, which is a highly controversial holiday. On one hand, there’s family tradition, delicious food, and a real calling to gratitude. On the other hand, there is a dark and bloody history of colonization and genocide of the original peoples on what is now called the North American continent.

There can be a fear that if we look at the truth, that all of the joy and love will be sucked out of life. Sometimes people ask the question, “Can’t I just enjoy [fill in the blank] without having to deal with all of this stuff?”

That’s not my experience. If there is grief or pain inherently built into something and I don’t look at, then what enjoyment comes to me feels flat, hollow. The richness of life is that it’s not just rose-colored, that we live in a full-color world.

Part of the paradox of living in western culture is the simultaneous gratitude for all that we have and the enormous grief it’s cost to get here.

Guilt is not useful if it provokes navel-gazing and paralysis. I want to encourage you to embrace gratitude for all that you have AND embrace the grief. Grief is useful and real, and out of grief can come real, inspiring action.

When I sincerely grieve, I notice how much space is opened in my heart for true joy, as well as for taking actions and standing up for something that feels whole and right and good.

If you’re up for embracing the wholeness of what is in this US holiday, as one step of self-education, I highly recommend An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States, by Dr Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz.

If you’re not from the U.S., I bet there are holidays and celebrations in your life that carry a similar sort of tension. I encourage you to embrace the tension, to lean into the discomfort, and show up in the fullness of what is being offered to us.

with love and care,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.

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