I hear this very often, that practitioners feel like they are somehow cheating, or manipulating, or being greedy if they recommend a certain number of sessions to a client.
“But I make more money if I recommend more sessions! How is that right?”
I love how much integrity people carry, and that kind of caring and attention to someone’s financial well-being is beautiful, and needs to be kept.
At the same time, it’s important to notice the truth that isn’t being spoken when one only pays attention to the financial well-being.
If you, as a practitioner, know that a certain number of sessions, or a certain time period of work is what you would honestly recommend given what you know about a client/patient, then withholding that information is harmful.
When a practitioner tells me, “Oh, just come in when you want to.” Or, “It’s really up to you.” I usually push back. And in all cases when I have pushed back, they immediately, without hesitation, know what they want me to do.
“Well, ideally I’d love to have you come in weekly for at least two months, and then we can re-evaluate where you are.
Since they knew without even pausing to think, that tells me that yes, they were shy or otherwise looking out for my financial well-being.
At the same time, they were prioritizing what they *thought* would help my financial well-being over what they knew with a lot more certainty would actually help me in the ways I’m looking to them for help.
I’ll say that it’s not always about looking out for a client’s financial well-being. I know there are other issues sometimes around confidence, and not wanting to control others, or perhaps even other things that come up. I get it! It can be really challenging.
Regardless of where it’s coming from, it’s not helping the client, and I want to support you in showing up in a way that really helps them, and also helps you. Mutual aid is how we humans thrive.
In this conversation there are two concerns here, and they need to be dealt with separately. There is the concern for your client’s well-being in terms of what you actually do to help them. Then, there is a second concern for whether you are “using” the client or otherwise pushing them.
Deal with both separately, by speaking what you know, and asking about what you don’t know.
Instead of withholding one because of concern about the other, instead just be upfront about both.
“In my experience, looking at what you’re dealing with, this is my recommendation in terms of how often we should work together, and for how long. Does that work for you? Would that create any hardships?”
In this approach, you speak what you know, which is your sense of how you can best help them with what they are asking for. Then, you ask about what you don’t know.
In asking “Does that work for you?”, you’re not prying into any specific part of their life. You’re NOT asking if that would cost too much. If they say it doesn’t work, then you can have that conversation. “Oh, if you can’t come in weekly, would every other week work? Would three times per month work?”
It can take some courage, but often the awkwardness is in thinking you might need to ask about something that isn’t really your business. So don’t ask with that kind of specificity, right? It’s okay. “Does that work for you?” is wonderfully open-ended.
It’s really okay that you get supported, too.
This is part of how this whole thing works- you get supported by helping others. It’s really, really, really okay. Really. That you make more money when you see clients more often.
Of course, if you were lying, manipulating people into more sessions they didn’t need just to milk a cash cow, that’s gross, and no, we don’t want that.
But that’s not what you’re doing. You have real help for your clients, and you want to get it to them without holding back, and be humbled to accept what they are giving you in return, so you can keep giving the help.
We all need each other so much, and mutual aid, as I said, is how we humans thrive best. Clients paying for services is not the only form of mutual aid, but it’s definitely one of them, if you hold the intention in your heart.
With love,
Mark Silver, M. Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
Pssst… want to sneak in?
Okay, it’s not really sneaking in. But The Heart of Your Business course started yesterday with the full live program. Of course it’s not ideal, but it’s absolutely possible to jump in still.
We had a beautiful first call with a wonderful group of folks. If you want more of this kind of approach to a successful business, please jump in.
Just promise me one thing: that you won’t beat yourself up or feel too pressured because you came in late. That you’ll take your time to get oriented, and if you’re a little behind… it’s okay.
Click: The Heart of Your Business.
We will close it down by this Friday, July 2, because there is such a thing as being too far along, but you can slip in if you want to.
